So Hard to Let Go

Let me tell you a story from this evening. I have a ministry dog who is under 2 years old, so still a puppy. Dakota is an Australian Shepherd. He loves to play and especially loves to play fetch. He has this large orange toy with 2 tennis ball sized sections with a tail of three 1 1/2" wide pieces of sturdy orange fabric that trail off like a kite tail. This is one of his favorite toys for fetch.

He knows that he has to "give" the toy before I will throw it for him. But is so hard for him to let it go. If he catches me off guard because I am distracted, I might not even notice he has engaged my hand until I am in a tug of war with him. He LOVES tug of war as well and plays "ferocious puppy" to the hilt. I smile and I engage with him in this game.

What melts my heart is when I have the top of the body of the toy in my hand. He has heard the word "give" but is torn between playing tug of war and fetch. So he has this little ritual of oh soooo slowly, inch by inch, then 1/4" by 1/4", letting go of his toy piece by piece until that last bit of the tail gently falls from his mouth. He's hoping I don't know that he still has hold and will EAGERLY grab on if I take it! Melts my heart he is so sweet! Then the toy is lobbed, he fetches it and returns for another round of "did I fool you?" "I still have a little corner and will grab on if you are not paying close attention!"

Tonight it hit me that we often approach letting go just like Dakota! Holding on until the very last second, keeping that last little bit of control, before we let go. It may be an idea, a valued tradition, a job, a relationship, or even a tussle with trusting God. It says a lot about our humanity.

Many times I have turned over my life to God only to grab it back if I feel uncomfortable. After all, God gave us free will, a curious spirit, and a need to hold on for survival. Yet, I wonder if God inwardly smiles to see how hard it is for us to let go. I bet it melts God's heart! I am smiling. Are you, God?